I realize that it has been a long time.
Quite a while since I’ve written on this (well, ok. I had a post in November, but decided to take it down. I’m still working on it through it, and I’ll figure out if I want to repost or not).
As I was saying, it has been QUITE A WHILE. I’ve had this blog, this space, for a few years. In the beginning, I wanted to chronicle my life in New York City. I had a Blogspot blog for this very reason. Initially, I was enthusiastic. Then, I became….disheartened. This superficial yardstick that we use to measure “progress,” “success,” was just becoming too much.
Over the years, I have second guessed myself, doubted myself, wondering if whatever it is that I am trying to achieve is worth it. Compounded by the fact that whenever people asked what it is that I was trying to do, I had a vague notion of an answer, and this just depressed me. Also compounded that I was seeing people in my age bracket who were doing laps around me, and it’s just so, incredibly, disheartening.
Most are quick to remind me that, hey, I actually have gotten far. Look at all the progress you’ve made and be mindful of that.
Yes, I appreciate that. I am mindful of that. But I am also incredibly hard on myself. I will tell myself, I didn’t move from some tiny ass town in Mississippi to one of THE largest/greatest cities on earth to waste away my life.
Having said all of that, I have victories, both minor and major. And they’ve actually inspired me to keep pushing on.
In 2015, I took a self-defense class for women. I felt inspired and empowered. I wanted to take the class again. The instructor said that he doesn’t do regular self-defense classes for women. I told him I was interested in training so that I could teach the classes. I have been training for the past year, and in March of THIS YEAR, I will FINALLY be teaching! Excited af would be a SEVERE understatement!
This instructor also runs a business in finance (that’s the best way I can describe it), and I took one of his courses back in 2010. I’ve been in a mastermind/apprentice group since then. Last year, we were having our second to the last meeting, and the director of the group had to step down because she’ll be doing extensive training for the next 18 months.
So they were looking for a new director. Something in my spirit compelled me to offer myself. And everyone else agreed. I thought it would be a great opportunity to be a leader. I feel like seeds had been planted, and I just need to nurture them and allow them to grow. So now I am the director of a 14 person mastermind/apprentice group. We’ll have our first official meeting either this week or next week. And I haven’t figured out what we’ll discuss yet! No worries ❤
My office is in a recording studio. I do not technically work at/for the recording studio. I’ve known for awhile that Loudspeaker Network. My degree was in television and radio. I’ve been wanting to do podcasts. It didn’t click in my head that a yuge opportunity was sitting in my lap and that I should probably do something about that.
So I reached out to the studio manager. He said they could offer me an internship (which is exactly what I wanted). He gave me Chris Morrow’s email address (he’s a founding partner of LSN), and there was a little back and forth. It fizzled. Scottie (studio manager) would occasionally check in with me. He hinted that Chris would come in on certain days. One day (the day before the election), he told me that Chris would be in. I had somewhere to be later on, but I rushed back to the studio after it was over. We talked a bit. He told me that LSN was a bit unorganized and asked what was I looking for and what I could offer. I was then introduced to Matty Raz.
I sent out an email. Heard back after a month. That fizzled.
Scotty reached out to me again, told me that he knows for a fact that Chris comes in on Wednesdays for The Read. So two Wednesdays later, I stayed after work to see him. Glad I did. He told me that he had been thinking about it. He brought up being disorganized again, and I had mentioned again that I am highly organized (in my head, I am. I’m great with scheduling lol). We go over some things, and he mentions that he’s been looking for an assistant. In my head, I’m thinking I AM HIGHLY ORGANIZED I AM GREAT WITH SCHEDULING AND I’M ALREADY IN THE BUILDING YOU MIGHT AS WELL PICK ME! So there’s that. I may also be helping with a new show they’re working on. I see him this Wednesday.
I have a book editor. I’ve had her since 2010. I love her. Last week she suggested I do a reading of my work, either for her March or April show. It’s contingent on if there is any space in March. I would rather do March, simply because I am seizing on a moment, but April works as well. I just need to figure out which six minutes of my novel I’ll be reading.
So now here’s this…
I went to Shouting at the Screen last week. It’s hosted by Wyatt Cenac and Donwill. How to say? It’s like Mystery Science Theater for blaxploitation films. I went in telling myself, “You are going to talk to Wyatt tonight. Yes, you will.” I had been in January and chickened out and didn’t say anything. So I did it. We talked for a bit. I blathered for a bit. Somehow we came on podcasts. And he’s like oh, Tracy from Another Round is behind you. Let me introduce you to her. So my head is OMG TWO OF MY FAVORITEST PEOPLE I AM SPEAKING TO THEM AT THE SAME TIME IN THE SAME NIGHT HOW CAN THIS POSSIBLY BE HAPPENING HELLLO UNIVERSE! So Tracy and I talk for a bit. A long while. Like maybe half an hour? This is all exciting to me. And when I have to get ready to go, she hugs me. I’m in heaven at this point.
So that’s been going on in my life right now. I will probably flesh this out later. This is literally free writing right now. And it’s all good.
And speaking of things being all good, I have been growing “freer” and more comfortable with myself. And I have Beyonce for that. Yeay Beyonce!
Oh! Also changed my name last year. Maybe there is something to this whole universe in alignment. And maybe not the universe in the science-y sense, but something like that. Yeay!