Today, while I was on the Long Island Railroad going home, I realized something, both seemingly trivial, yet profound: I no longer like my pseudonym.
I’ve had the name JD Ariza since December of 2002, while I was a freshman in high school. I came up with the idea while looking at the word “Arizona” in a blurry way, and the “ona” just disappeared and formed “Ariza.” I liked the sound of it. I stuck “JD” in front of it, and BAM! There was my new alias. I eeked out a few stories under the name Ariza. She was like my alter ego: a black girl with black hair and red highlights and green eyes. She, much like me, was a tortured soul and wanted nothing but to get out. Over the years, she matured – from Hot Topic to more of a Victorian style. She still appreciated the dark and morbid, but it was in more subtle ways.
I think she was a way to cope with my depression.
However, all good things must come to an end. I must admit that over the past few months even, I just had a nagging feeling about the name. It just doesn’t suit me anymore. And I’m fine with that. And she’s fine with that.
So now I have to start the process of changing all of my social media names. For now, they will, for the most part, be “Writer on the Radio.” I’m still figuring out a pseudonym or two for myself.
It does seem trivial, but this seems to be in line with a number of things going on in my life as well. I’ve felt like I’ve been growing in some spiritual or mental way. Discarding what doesn’t suit me and embracing the new things that life has to offer. I feel like everything is coming full circle.