Had a dream this morning about my grandmother. And when I woke up, I felt incredibly sad.
When will I stop beating myself up over it?
In the dream, I knew her end was near. I persuaded my sister for her to stay with my grandmother, along with me. I wanted to be there with her, until the very end. And I felt incredibly guilty whenever I had to make a stop at the house to get clothes, because I was always worried that she would die when I was out.
It’s been almost three years, and I still feel like it was my fault. I hadn’t talked to her since her birthday that February. I couldn’t have done anything, but still.