It’s Not About Love

A few weeks ago, I came across a video of this man beating this barely teenaged girl outside.  The story was she had run away from home for three days, and she’d come back wearing a blond wig and provocative clothes.

This man was beating his daughter (some say it wasn’t her father), outside, and there are others outside (presumably family members), cheering on, calling her a ho and a bitch. 

It made me cringe. It was like she was cattle and he was whipping her for being out of line. Now, I can only make so many assumptions about this video that was maybe a minute long. But I wonder how her family greeted her upon her arrival.  Was she found, or did she come back home?

And I came across an article citing an interesting statistic: over 70% of runaways were abused at home. So I’m thinking, “Oh, my God. This girl could have been raped or beaten at home.” And I’m quite sure she’s been beaten before. It reminded me of when my stepfather would beat me, with an electric cord, over things so inane. Like one time, I couldn’t wash the dishes because the lights were out in the kitchen. He woke me up in the middle of the night to beat me. My mom told him to stop. I was between 10-12 at the time. To this day, I still hold some resentment towards my parents for making me do all of the household chores, when they and my siblings were perfectly capable of helping out. I shouldn’t have had all the responsibility. 

This situation is very complex. In the Facebook group I’m in, where the video was posted, there were several people saying, “Parenting is hard,” “At least she has a daddy who cares. ” I’m sure parenting is hard. But my mother never beat me once. And just because 73% of black children are raised by their mothers doesn’t mean that men (and women!) have free reign to abuse their children. And then to do it outside. With family members watching. And her own mother recording it! And probably posted it to some stupid site like World Star. For all the world to see. I can’t fathom doing that to my future children. It’s criminal. And that will be floating around the Internet forever. 


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